but for some reason, i cant seem to find a way to
express them at all.
talking about it today after a long time,
but it didnt feel any different. still feels like how i felt not long ago.
I was agitated when i was saying it.
but i wasnt angry at you. not really.
the worse thing is im angry and upset about the situation,
and how it turned out,
but i can never muster enough energy to be angry at you.
Its like being angry with yourself,
drains your energy out but nothing much has been achieved.
feels weird tonight.
i dont feel upset,
but i dont feel too good either.
maybe i was right.
we wouldnt last pass this,
we wouldnt last pass university anyway.
might be better for everyone like that.
i might be in self denial,
but i dunno how much more of this
i could have handled then.
or now,
or in the future.
suddenly likes sunflowers a lot.
and daisies, and smiley yellow flowers.
i missed the times when I smiled because
i was genuinely happy.
not because i was trying to cover up my sadness.
the times when i laughed because i felt happy,
because i felt like it.
the sunflower turns 48 minutes slower than the sun
